A friend goes home

My heart is heavy tonight as we say good bye to a dear friend. Lenni went home today. She has suffered from a rare cancer for several months. The last week has been difficult and she was on her way to her earthly home today with hospice called in, and instead went to her heavenly home to be with her beloved savior.

My heart rejoices with her as she told me several times that if the treatment did not work she would just beat the rest of us to be with Jesus. She is in love with him and has an amazing faith! She has been one of our faithful prayer warriors. I will miss seeing her face each Sunday morning as she served the rest of us coffee in the back of the sanctuary. I will miss hearing her amazing wisdom as she would share in our Sunday School class. I will miss hearing her poems, and beautifully written words.

When Lenni learned that she had cancer she shared that she had been praying that God would use her as a vessel for Him; she believed that through the cancer, He was answering her prayer. She also added, "when you pray in that way, you have to stay in The Word."

Lenni loved Zac, Cai too. But with Zac, she said that she wanted to write an article about all the lessons that she learned from Zac. I don't know if she ever wrote it. I hope so. When he was an infant we never took him to nursery for fear of illness, so she always played with him in the back while she attended the coffee shop (at church). One of the other reasons that she connected with Zac was that she announced that she would be a grandma for the first time the same Sunday we announced that we were expecting a baby (Zac). Her grandson is about 1 month older than Zac. She also watched our boys one time, so James and I could have a date.

I was honored just 2 Sundays ago to experience another act of her generosity. Lenni found out that it was my birthday, and wanted to surprise me with a party in SS class. Even as she was not feeling well, she was still thinking of others! I was extremely humbled, and honored. I was looking forward to this Saturday though, as it is Lenni's Birthday, and her dear friend had planned a surprise birthday party for her. I thought what a great thing that her act will be returned to her in a wonderful way. I think that this Saturday, we will be celebrating her life in a different way, but celebrating just the same.

It is amazing to see God work through our earthly trials, and to know that He is in control. I believe that God has answered my good friend Lenni's prayer to be a vessel, you see last night both her son, and daughter came to know Jesus as their own savior!

Lenni, I rejoice with you as you are with Jesus, and without pain. Thank you for all of these things, you will be missed! I will be praying for your family, especially your son and daughter who are so new to this faith.


Lenni wrote this to us the last time Zac's surgery was canceled.

What Can I Say?

Dear Snider Family

Our flesh and bone gets so tired of waiting,

We look, we long, days spent anticipating,

Jesus loves me this I know,

Why do answers seem so slow?

Blessed are those that suffer,

How many more blessing needed to make us tougher?

In this fallen world we are helpless,

Thank you for your grace we are not hopeless.

Your journey seems so long,

Consider those that walked in a circle, in a desert, 40 years but not a

strap wore on a sandal thong.

Last thing you want to hear,

Is another hang in there.

We hurt with love for your family,

And pray for a breakthrough openly.

May God bless you with answers to all of our prayers for your family,

With Much Love,

Lenni

waiting

We are still waiting to get a schedule for Zac's surgery on his left leg. I have contacted Dr. Paley's office several times without any replies. Finally, today I e-mailed Dr. Paley to let him know that we are trying to reschedule Zac's surgery; within hours I get a copy of his e-mail to his assistant (of whom I have been leaving messages with) asking her to contact me to re-schedule. Hopefully that means I will talk with her tomorrow. This surgeon runs an extremely busy practice, with patients from around the world, and a full staff of residence that he trains to do the same amazing procedures that he does. He is considered a pioneer in the field, and has developed over 200 procedures himself -including what he is doing for Zac! Yet, he is so efficient and quick when it comes to e-mails. It always amazes me! The first time we contacted him by e-mail to even see if he would look at Zac, we got a reply within 2 days.

Today someone was asking us about the procedures and surgeries on the TARS support group, and as I was answering their questions, I was reminded about what a miracle really happened to have his leg turn out the way that it has. It is so straight, and really looks beautiful. To think that he will walk one day. I am just overwhelmed right now as I write. God has really worked a miracle through the Dr. and team that we found. That is such an answer to what we prayed for and asked so many to join with us in praying. It makes me start to get excited about what is about to happen with the left leg. I know that anything is possible, and I am expecting another miracle!!!

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all mothers. The following was posted on our TARS Support group. It really touched my heart, so I thought I would share it.

By Lori Borgman

Expectant mothers waiting for a newborn's arrival say they don't care
what sex the baby is. They just want to have ten fingers and ten
toes.

Mothers lie.

Every mother wants so much more.
She wants a perfectly healthy baby with a round head,
rosebud lips, button nose, beautiful eyes and satin skin.
She wants a baby so gorgeous that people will pity the Gerber baby
for being flat-out ugly.

She wants a baby that will roll over, sit up and take those first
steps right on schedule
Every mother wants a baby that can see, hear, run, jump and fire
neurons by the billions.
She wants a kid that can smack the ball out of the park
and do toe points that are the envy of the entire ballet class.
Call it greed if you want, but a mother wants what a mother wants.

Some mothers get babies with something more.

Maybe you're one who got a baby with a condition you couldn't
pronounce,
a spine that didn't fuse,
a missing chromosome or a palate that didn't close.
The doctor's words took your breath away.
It was just like the time at recess in the fourth grade when you
didn't see the kick ball coming,
and it knocked the wind right out of you.

Some of you left the hospital with a healthy bundle, then, months,
even years later,
took him in for a routine visit, or scheduled him for a checkup,
and crashed head first into a brick wall as you bore the brunt of
devastating news.
It didn't seem possible.
That didn't run in your family.
Could this really be happening in your lifetime?

There's no such thing as a perfect body.
Everybody will bear something at some time or another.
Maybe the affliction will be apparent to curious eyes, or maybe it
will be unseen,
quietly treated with trips to the doctor, therapy or surgery.
Mothers of children with disabilities live the limitations with them.

Frankly, I don't know how you do it.
Sometimes you mothers scare me.
How you lift that kid in and out of the wheelchair twenty times a
day.
How you monitor tests, track medications,
and serve as the gatekeeper to a hundred specialists yammering in
your ear.

I wonder how you endure the cliches and the platitudes,
the well-intentioned souls explaining how God is at work
when you've occasionally questioned if God is on strike.
I even wonder how you endure schmaltzy columns like this one-saluting
you,
painting you as hero and saint,
when you know you're ordinary.
You snap, you bark, you bite.
You didn't volunteer for this, you didn't jump up and down in the
motherhood line yelling,
"Choose me, God. Choose me! I've got what it takes."

You're a woman who doesn't have time to step back and put things in
perspective, so let me do it for you. From where I sit, you're way
ahead of the pack.
You've developed the strength of the draft horse while holding onto
the delicacy of a daffodil.
You have a heart that melts like chocolate in a glove box in July,
counter-balanced against the stubbornness of an Ozark mule.

You are the mother, advocate and protector of a child with a
disability.
You're a neighbor, a friend, a woman I pass at church and my sister-
in-law.
You're a wonder.

Not our timing.....E-mail update for Zac -

Well, we are home again. Big sigh! We arrived in Baltimore Sunday night, in preparation for the pre-op apt. on Monday. Zac woke up in the morning on Monday coughing. We thought that it may be allergies as he didn't seam to cough when we were away from the hotel room. I mentioned it at his apt., but the Ortho. folks don't really worry about those things, they leave it up to the Anesthesiology Dr.s to figure out, and we don't see them until the morning of surgery. Zac's surgery was supposed to be yesterday morning (Wed. am), which gave us an extra day for the possible allergies, to become a runny nose and even more of a cough. Yesterday morning we went just to let them make the decision to cancel the surgery. We thought that could be the very possible outcome, which of course was the case. The Anesthesiologist took one look at Zac, and said no way. Even though his lungs were clear, the body will fight against the anesthesia, as it is fighting the cold. Although we knew that this was the possible outcome, it was still a blow. It takes so much out of us to prepare emotionally, and physically with all the travel, etc., and here we are the second time of trying, and we still come home without surgery. It is a bit devastating. I am just going to be honest here, we have more questions than answers. The Dr.s said that we need to wait at least 4 weeks to make sure that he is cleared of the cold. We are really praying for direction. We are thinking that now we need to concentrate on taking care of ourselves, and get some things in order before we are ready to attempt this again. The thing is, there will never be a perfect time. We had thought that the sooner the better for Zac's development. We have tried, but for some reason, it was just not meant to be at this time.
Please pray with us as we make these decisions. It does not make sense to us, but we know that God is in control. I am praying that the next time the scheduled time for the surgery will be the right time, not just that the surgery will be done in the right timing. Most of all that God's perfect will be done. Please pray for grace and strength for us as we emotionally deal with these changes.
We will now focus on the job search, for both of us. We are unsure how all that will work out with timing, and new jobs. I really hope that we will not have to delay much longer, for Zac's sake. To be honest we feel that we are at the end of our rope again, and anticipate how God so often works when we are at the end of ourselves. I heard something this week saying that God helps those who are helpless, and we are all helpless. I think it is when we recognize our helplessness, that God works the best. We love Him so much, and we know that He loves us...we look to Him with anticipation.

We feel compelled to share, as it is for His glory, and how else will He get the Glory, if we do not share. Even as Jesus wept at the tomb of his friend Lazarus, He goes on to answer Martha's questions with this "Didn't I tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?" John 11:40. We believe that God's timing is usually outside of our box, but he still cares about our distress.

Thank you,
LeAnn
James, Cai, and Zac

A lesson learned!

Check out Cai's left foot in this picture. He has been complaining about pain and limping for about a week. There was not a point of injury that we could remember. There was not any bruising, or visible swelling, and so we thought that he strained a muscle or something. Even Zac's PT looked at it and said he must have hit it on something, but that it did not appear to be broken. So, we put off going to see the Dr., until Fri. He was still complaining, and even said he would like to go to the Dr. I was thinking just to rule anything serious out, so we went. The Pediatrician thought there was slight swelling. He ordered a blood count, and x-rays. The blood count he said was to rule out an infection. That immediately took my breath away, as that was the first time I had thought of anything more serious! Thankfully the count came back normal. The x-ray revealed what they called a healing fracture in the Fibula (the small lower leg bone). There was just a small shadow on the x-ray, which they said is the healing much like a scab. Apparently it maybe would not have been detected a week ago if we had taken him in then, and they said that it did not hurt anything by waiting. If he were an adult and/or not as active as he is, they would not have put a cast on him. But, they said to protect him from himself it would be best to wear a cast for about 3 weeks. Most likely it happened from all his jumping. He loves to jump! So, a lesson learned, an injury does not have to have bruising, or swelling to be more serious! I am glad that we went on Fri. as we leave on Sun. for Baltimore. He will blend in there, and look like another patient! --Even with his neon orange cast. (He chose orange, as that is his favorite color)

Our e-mail update for Zac's next surgery

We are getting ready for our trip again! Zac's surgery is scheduled for next Wed., April 23rd. The pre-op apt. is on Mon. the 21st. As you may remember Zac was to have his surgery on March 19th, but got sick in the night right before the surgery scheduled for the following morning. He had the wire taken out of his right leg in clinic, but then we came on home as he continued to be sick, and we would not be able to reschedule right away. Dr. Paley has been out of town (for him that usually means to another country) so we could not get the surgery rescheduled until next week.

Zac had the stomach virus for 2 weeks, we are thankful to be over that! Please pray that he stays well for this next scheduled surgery. He does not get sick often, but if it is a virus, it seems to hit him hard. We are not sure why the timing of his illness canceled the surgery, but we are praying for the right timing, and for God to prepare Zac, and the surgeons. Hopefully this will be just the right time for surgery. It is all in God's hands.
We have the similar thoughts of apprehension, but, also of fresh surrender. It is not any easier, and perhaps it even gets more difficult to place our child in the compromising state of surgery once again. If we keep our minds on the hope of the end result, then we can start to look forward to 'the next step.' There are a few things that get me in the gut, and that is the freedom of not having a brace, or anything on that left leg, and knowing what it will be like soon -as with the right leg. But, we also know that he has no hope of walking with that leg without having the surgery, and it would also be counter productive for all the work that we have done on the right leg, not to do the left. We are just needing to muster up our bravery, and of course rely on God! Big brother Cai, who just turned 4yrs old, learned what faith means through the acronym FROG in Children's Church. When I picked him up he told me to 'Fully Rely On God,' this is another time where God has used our little encourager, as a few times when I have really needed to hear it, I almost audibly replay Cai saying 'Fully Rely On God.'

It should be interesting this time as Zac will be turning 2 yrs old next month. He was just 14m old with the very first surgery on his right leg. He is becoming quite vocal, and is very much a typical 2 year old. Words like 'have it' and 'mine' and 'my turn' have crept into his vocabulary lately (yes, things are getting more interesting around here!) That may make it more challenging in some ways, but he can also express if and where things hurt, so hopefully it will give us an advantage. And so, we are moving forward!

Please pray that the surgery will be every bit as successful as the right leg, if not better. Pray for the surgeons, Dr.Paley and Dr. Standard. One of my concerns is with blood loss, the last time Zac had to have 2 blood transfusions because of the amount of blood loss. It is the right timing for Zac, and we do not feel that we should delay the surgery. We are also praying for employment to come soon as we are both looking actively. Please pray with us in seeking direction as to how God wants to provide. We know that God is in control, and we are excited to see what He has in store. We continue to give Him the Glory, for that is the greater purpose....

We love you all, and thank you for praying and keeping up with us.

Love,
LeAnn, James, Cai, and Zac

Life goes on....

I am not sure why it has taken so long to post again. A little bit of this and that, not to mention, that sometimes challenges are easier to keep to our selves. Anyway, here is a little update since last time....

Our bank account was resolved, and the money returned without too much hardship; Only to have the same thing happen to our other checking account. Our banks both said that it had to have happened at a merchant where a card reader was placed (a small unnoticeable device,) and must have been where we both purchase things, such as a gas station. They said that the card had to have been duplicated in this manner. Interestingly the user was in Mexico for both accounts. We are still awaiting the money to be returned in our second account.

Our little man finally got over his virus. It was a long 2 weeks of vomiting, but thankfully, we are over it! We are now getting ready for surgery again next week. Hopefully this time there will be no delays.

Big brother turned 4yrs old. It is hard to believe! He is growing into such a little boy. This year he wanted a birthday party with some of his little friends. I thought we were going to have a dinosaur theme until he decided out of the blue that he wanted a horse party. It turned out to be quite fun, with 8 of his friends and cousins.

We have a busy week getting ready to leave for Baltimore again.